Kevin Andrews suddenly learns that everyone else knows Catch The Fire are batshit #auspol

Minister for Putting Single Mums in Their Bloody Place Kevin Andrews, among other Team Australians, has recently learned that the people of Australia don’t particularly like that the “World Congress of Families” is run by well-known slavering extremist anti-choice homophobic bigots Catch The Fire Ministries and has decided not to open their adorable little Hatesturbate For Jesus for them after all.

Catch The Fire Ministries, whose head douche Danny Nalliah infamously linked Victoria’s Black Saturday bushfires to that state’s abortion laws (and will now have to find other high-profile fundamentalist scenery-chewers to mix the green cordial [red is SINFUL!] and run the games of “pin Satan’s pitchfork on the eternally burning lesbortionist,”) have since thrown K-Drews under the bus for being a sad wuss. Because how dare any public official in a secular democracy respond to public outcry over lending explicit government support to a pack of fringe-dwelling cultists whose lunacy is only exceeded by their self-importance.

I suspect that, much like a pair of cling-wrap Y-fronts, this is a transparent arse-covering on the part of Kev and his fellow Tory wingnuts, Eric “I Am The Politican Every Sketch Show Bases Their Politicians On” Abetz and Cory “Looky, I Wrote A Book Just Like God Did” Bernardi, who would surely have gone along had the public not had something of a issue with members of our government explicitly validating the dark-ages lunacy of extremist evangelist hooligans.

Not Catch The Fire but close efuckingnough, amirite?

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Scott Morrison has just made the boogeyman redundant #auspol

Several children are missing in South Australia after two others were removed from school and placed in immigration detention centres.

Quotes from Refugee Action Coalition spokesman Ian Rintoul:

“They’re at the whim of the department.”

“The fact they were snatched out of school is an indication of how (the Department) operates with no concern for the kids involved.

“It’s a general phenomenon at the moment. The department is cancelling visas, bringing people in, sending people back. There is general fear in the community.”

Parents: you may now start terrorising your children into eating their steamed vegetables with the prospect of indefinite detention in a shipping container on a small, hot island where the locals want to kill you and the prison guards can’t stop them.

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It’s not just religionists that get upset by billboards

It’s monarchists too, as this ABC News report demonstrates:

A pro-monarchy group says a billboard advertisement is bordering on political advertising in support of a republic.

The Australian Monarchists League says two billboards in Sydney have urged consumers to “Forget the monarchy, support the publicans”.

League national chairman Philip Benwell says the wording of the ad by South Australian beer company Coopers is an attack on the constitutional monarchy.

“This particular advertisement is designed to get people to support publicans, but it’s also saying ‘Forget the monarchy’, and that’s what we object to,” he said. “Why couldn’t they say ‘Forget the Republicans, support the publicans?’ Why do they have to attack the monarchy?”

A spokesman for Coopers says the advertisement ran on billboards for just a short time and is not a major issue.

Translation:
Monarchist: BAAAW
Coopers: LOL
An attack, my dear monarchist, is an action designed to inflict some kind of damage or injury. Coopers Brewery (makers of the finest damn ales in the country, perhaps even the universe, the last family-owned brewery in the country and perhaps the one thing that could make me patriotic about my home state of South Australia) was making a blindingly obvious pun on the monarchist/republican debate that’s been going on in this country at varying strengths for decades.
It frequently (very, very frequently) seems to me that conservative groups worldwide, be they religious, political or a combination of both, have minions everywhere, scouring the countryside like Ring Wraiths, searching for anything that could be construed as some kind of attack. They then scream “BAW, persecution!” in an effort to both publicise their cause and lend legitimacy to it, as if the very fact that people are having a go at you means you’re right (see: Galileo Fallacy). The monarchists in this story have failed epically at both, their spokesman just coming across as yet another overly-sensitive reactionary conservative, the kind any self-respecting republican, or any reasonable Australian, regardless of political persuasion, would and should rightly laugh out of the pub. I can hear several million Australians right now – if they have actually heard about this little foot-stomping tantrum, that is – chuckling to themselves and saying “Joyzuz Krawst, get ova yaself ya wankah, it’s a fucken beer ad!” In Victorian times it might sounded more like “Gawd, strike me pink. It’s only an advertisement, you flaminwowser. Pull your head in!”
This latest conservative dummy-spit (again, if it’s been noticed at all) has probably had an effect that’s the complete opposite of what the monarchists intended. Far from publicising the monarchist position, all it’s really done is given Australians two new things to laugh at: a new Coopers ad (in the laconic, typically Australian style we’ve all become accustomed to) and a new wowser.