Papacy: no apology to Charles Darwin

VATICAN CITY, Sep. 16, 2008 (Reuters) — The Vatican said on Tuesday the theory of evolution was compatible with the Bible but planned no posthumous apology to Charles Darwin for the cold reception it gave him 150 years ago.

[newsdaily.com via rd.net]

Well, no surprise there. Everyone (especially Galileo) knows the statute of limitations on Papist apologies to people who were correct all along is around the 500-year mark. Not that any scientist or any one else really needs the Vatican, the CoE, or any other religiolith to apologise though. As the old saying goes, success is the best revenge and there’s nothing quite like the success of Darwin’s Evolutionary Theory, which is supported not just by biological evidence but also supports and is mutually supported by evidence genetic, geological, palaeontological, medical, pharmacological, genealogical, animal, vegetable, mineral – the list goes on…

But, of course …

“In the United States, and now elsewhere, we have an ongoing public debate over evolution that has social, political and religious dimensions,” [Professor Philip Sloan of Notre Dame University] said. “Most of this debate has been taking place without a strong Catholic theological presence, and the discussion
has suffered accordingly,” he said.

Well, Prof, that’s the States for you – not that I think a “strong Catholic theological presence” would clarify anything other than the ninja-like mental gymnastics needed to be a Catholic theologian in the first place. What the current evo/creationist debate in the US needs is for theology of any kind to be hacked out like dead, rotting wood and for the discussion to return to objective, verifiable facts such as those which support evolutionary theory. Creationists debating evolution is like me debating quantum physics – I know some of the words involved and have a shallow understanding of the concepts but that’s where my actual knowledge of it ends. To continue pretending (a) that I know what I’m on about and (b) that I can actually debate quantum physics with people who have dedicated their lives to understanding it would only reveal me as a rank ignoramus. Although, now that I think about it, that analogy is actually giving way too much credit to the creationists. People whose understanding amounts to “evolution = we came from a monkey but I aint no monkey and how come there are still monkeys anyway” really just need to shut the fuck up and read an eighth-grade biology textbook.

Even when the CoE and the Vatican (of all places) come to their senses and publicly accept evolution for the fact it is (though the Roman Empire qualify their acceptance by calling it “theistic evolution”, which I suppose means “God did it and continues to do it”), many, many American Christians still cling tenaciously to their “it’s a 6000 year-old Earth & I aint no monkey’s uncle & Adam & Eve rode dinosaurs who didn’t eat them because they were vegetarian dinosaurs” lackwittedness. One of these daft mammals has been in the Whitehouse for eight years (with great success) and another hopes to be there in about three months as deputy to a cranky old flip-flopper who’s around 33% likely to shuffle off during his term and leave the country to a pitbull with lipstick who believes Iraq is a mission from God and life on this earth doesn’t matter a pinch of shit because she’ll be kickin’ it with Jesus in the afterlife. Holy fucking crap, America! Wake up and steer the car away from the precipice because you’re gonna take us all down with you. Hell, going by the latest news from the stock market it’s beginning already! Like I was (and many other people were) telling people a few years ago – don’t get too comfy in the US exchanges because a serious Republican-induced recession is nigh, unless the Fed has another Greenspan-style miracle up its sleeve … seriously, how long did these idiots think they’d get away with spending billions of borrowed dollars a week in Iraq while simultaneously propping up a strung out Federal Reserve? Idiots. You don’t need to be a freaking economist to be able to smell a recession from a mile away.

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C of E: sorry, Chas

For some reason, the Church of E has decided it should apologise to Charles Darwin for lambasting & ridiculing him and his theory of descent with modification, first published in 1859 under the title On The Origin Of Species (which I have abridged because it’s rather long) [Telegraph].

What the holy swaddled Christ for? Chas’ grandson has, unsurprisingly, called this pointless act of nothingitude “pointless”. Apologise to a man for the crime of being too wilfully, blindly retarded to recognise what a work of simple, elegant genius his theory of evolution was (and still is), sure, but … he’s frickin‘ dead. Much as I love the man and what he achieved (against many & varied odds, not the least being his own struggle with the faith he was raised in), apologising to him won’t change a thing. Even issuing some broad CoE statement indicating their acceptance of evolution won’t actually do anything (I’m not actually sure what, if anything, the CoE hopes to achieve by this anyway). It’s not the gentle CoE or any other mild form of Christianity that’s the problem when it comes to evo-deniers and creobots.

Apologise to Chas Darwin for being twats all you want, gentle vicars, but the world will still be chock full of creationist evophobics of all stripes, be they the ever-numerous and oft-times rather frighteningly retarded American Jesus freaks, Muslim sub-mammals like Harun Yahya (or whatever his name is today) or illiterate fuckwits of the type who pollute the comment threads on youtube with their incoherent ramblings/pasted scripture (what is it about fundamentalism that strips a person of their ability to spell and use the shift key – or in some cases overuse the CAPS LOCK?). Look, the Cat’licks apologised to Galileo (after 500 years) and there are still people who doubt heliocentrism. Shit, the Papacy still maintains their ludicrous and murderous contentions that condoms are (a) evil, (b) ineffective, (c) actually spread disease rather than prevent infection even though the rest of the reasonable world has used them daily since their invention to prevent overpopulation & disease and occasionally decorate peoples’ houses for parties in lieu of traditional balloons.

The thing is, Charles & evolution don’t need your damn apology or your way-too-late admission of guilt (which isn’t yours to admit to anyway – I’ll take “Empty Gestures” for one thousand, please). Since its publication in 1859, the theory of evolution has either kickstarted or been shown to underpin and/or cross-support fields of enquiry as diverse as (but not limited to) genetics, geology, palaeontology, pharmacology, immunology, modern medicine and it pretty much underwrites the entire current understanding of the enormous field of Biology itself. Evolution has done rather well in the absence of a forced, hollow mea culpa, wouldn’t you say?

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This ecclesiastical “my bad” might have some merit if the CoE spoke for all of Christianity. But, as we all know, it doesn’t do any such thing, the CoE being brought to life (and brutally sustained, enriched and empowered) because Henry VIII wanted a do-over marriage and the Pope wouldn’t have a bar of it (hey, I’m all for telling a Pope to go fuck himself, but Hank 8 and his meanies did go rather too far on more than one occasion. Torture and murder and theft are bad things, kids, no matter who inflicts which upon whom).

So, if you’re not CoE, or if you’re not part of the CoE which still believes in the bible, or if you’re just one of zillions of anti-think god-droids who have a metaphorical sticker reading “I AINT NO MONKEY’S UNCLE” stuck to your brain’s rear bumper (next to your little Jesus fish), rest assured you may still chant “EVIL-UTION = ATHEISM” or “Darwin = Hitler” at your next prayer meeting.

No, Charles doesn’t require a “sorry” from the Church of England. What Evolution needs, my friends, is an apology from New Creos like Ben “science leads you to killing people” Stein, Ken “Creation Museum” Ham (I’m so fucking ashamed he’s Australian), Kent “In jail for fraud” Hovind, Ray “Banana Hammock” Comfort (hey, New Zealand – he’s all yours bro), Kirk “Crocoduck” Cameron – or anybody else of their wilfully-ignorant-of-the-motherfucking-facts ilk who’s had the misfortune to appear in any of the “Why do people laugh at Creationists?” youtube series by thunderf00t. These cretins are doing their level best to confuse the minds of young people by perpetuating the myth of a controversy over our origins that allegedly exists in the world of science (a controversy that the creos have manufactured themselves).

CoE, if you had any sway over these kinds of people – who are the real problem, I’d say “don’t spare the horses”. But the fact is you’re a Christian splinter group, formed for the convenience and pleasure of a hotheaded monarch who wanted things his way, and your words will have as much weight with people who have already made their minds up as the air you breathe them into.

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Back from Darwin with a quick & lazy one…


Got back from Darwin yesterday at about 7am after a 4-hour flight and no sleep since the night before. I managed to then sleep from 8 to 11, then from 12 to 3, then 7 to 9pm. A good effort, I thought, until I then managed to score another 11 hours last night! Not bad, but I think I need more practice if I’m to compete with my dog, seen above attacking my sock shortly before sleeping through most of an Easter weekend.

Anyway, this is all I can manage before hitting the sack yet again. I need some decent rest as I’m not looking forward to going back to work-camp in the morning. Jeez, I miss Darwin already – the glorious tropical heat (but sans the oppressive humidity of the wet season), the proximity to enormous, dangerous reptiles, spectacular natural beauty, fascinating yet endangered 40,000 year-old indigenous culture (sorry creationists, that does say forty thousand) and the freshest seafood anywhere, the constant flights of F-18 Hornets from the nearby RAAF base (now playing host to some US F-16 Falcons too – air-nerd heaven!), the ability to wear thongs (flip-flops) all day, every day and everywhere except the casino (which I care nothing for anyway), the shiny sheen of sweat on the bronzed bodies of the many, many lightly-dressed & nationally varied young women on holidays (yes, including my wife, who’s still up there having a ball, confound her!) … hey – I suppose my new-found love for the capital of the Top End makes me a godless, immoral, Holocaust-causing Darwinist!