Creationists – sigh

An Internet Creationist said:

We are Christians and Creationists because our explanation of evidence is far superior than your explanation of the same evidence.

I replied:

We are Christians and Creationists because our explanation of evidence is …

… “God did it.”

That – and only that – is your entire explanation.

Except it isn’t an explanation at all. Explanations are used to elaborate on raw data, illustrate facts, simplify complexities and contextualise evidence. “God did it” is about as useful and illustrative as “rainbows are colourful and pretty because they’re angel shit”. It’s also so simple as to be completely meaningless, as all it does is require further explanation – explanation you cannot possibly provide.

Your explanation is a lazy, stupid, ignorant cop-out.

It’s an insult to your own intelligence, to the intelligence of anyone listening to you and to the countless people who have worked and who still work on uncovering actual explanations.

And when your idiot brethren attempt to force your nothing of an “explanation” onto other people’s children in inappropriate venues like science classes in violation of the law, in violation of the facts as revealed by science and in violation of the trust placed in teachers by parents, you’re insulting the children, their parents and their teachers.

This exchange happened here at The Panda’s Thumb, a small (but often highly entertaining) corner of the internet where a handful of clueless creo-trolls wage constant, stupid battle against a slightly larger handful of science-literate regulars, comprised of a few vociferous heathens and the occasional moderate Christian. Drop in if you like!

FTR: No, I’m not some scattergun faith-basher; I’m well aware there’s a spectrum of belief and of believers and I’ve no problem at all with your everyday Christian who tries to live a good life and be a good person. It’s just that sites that discuss evolution tend to attract denizens of the most bone-jarringly stupid (and vocal) end of that spectrum. You know the type: not only are they indignant about sharing 98% of their DNA with chimpanzees (and commensurately ignorant of why that is), they think they have a literal God-given right to shove their mythology down the throats of other people’s children in violation of the law of the land.

Funny how it’s always biology they attack, though. You almost never see creationists railing against physics or cosmology – possibly because “I didn’t come from no monkey” is a far easier bumper-sticker slogan to remember for your average six-toed ten-gallon lackwit than “I didn’t come from no singularity” or “My atoms didn’t come from no conglomeration of matter during the formation of a star”. It also appeals directly to the narcissism inherent in denying their membership of the animal kingdom.


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