I for one welcome our new cephalopod overlords

And I present proof of my adoration and loyalty, inscribed in my driveway.



Hide all Youtube comments!

Oh, glory. Oh, saints be praised. FINALLY! “Finally” for me, anyway – this thing’s been out for a little while.

If you’re a Firefox user who loathes Youtube comments with the burning passion of 400 billion suns because they hurt and offend your brain (and there’s a 97% chance that you are, because reading this post is probably not your first experience with the internet), get this addon: “Comment Snob“. It is, frankly, a flak jacket for the kind of stupidity and hatred (and attendant lack of communication skills) which not only dominate but define Youtube comments.

You can set it to hide Youtube comments that have, for example, all caps, no caps, too much punctuation!!!!1//??1!, excessive/total capitalisation or a preset number of spelling errors (all of which, let’s face it, make up the bulk of all Youtube comments). In the case of that rare beast – the Youtube idiot that can spell and locate their Shift key – you can set it to hide every single fracking comment on every video you watch (strongly recommended).

I’ve tried it a bit this morning – just on half a dozen or so randomly-selected videos – and I can tell you with great glee that just leaving it at the default settings (below) hides at least half the comments on a given video (you can very easily reveal them, though, so this might not be ideal as a parental lock for sailor-talk). All-caps rants, all lower-case/punctuation-free babbling, TXT SPK, random capitalisation, scattergun exclamation marks – all gone. It’s like a spring breeze blowing through an old barn after fifty years of having the doors nailed shut.


Free at last, free at last, free at last!

Seriously, it’s as if billions of voices spent a decade crying out in stupidity and were suddenly silenced.

If you didn’t already know about this addon, you’re welcome and happy ‘tubing. If you did, then why the frack didn’t you tell me about this before?

(Hey, can someone please make one of these for the entire internet?)

Chrome has one too.

Internet Explorer, maybe. I dunno. Why the hell would I even look? What is this, 1996?


Obligatory post on Lance Armstrong

Cheating bastard and now, rank Oprahtunist.

But then his chief concern now is (should be) saving his charity, Livestrong. If Oprah won’t cough then how … I know! A celebrity bike race! He could invite Ozzy Osbourne, Pete Doherty, Keith Richards, either of the Gallagher brothers…

And now I leave it to you to insert your own “noone could tell the difference between their blood and a pro cyclist’s” joke. You’re welcome!

Obligatory post on gun control

It’s not quantum physics, for crying out loud: military-spec weapons are not appropriate for civilians whether for sport, “home defence” or anything else.

Also inappropriate for civilians is the responsibility to employ deadly force against another citizen in the service of the law (as distinct from self-defence). Those lamenting the fact that the teachers in Vermont didn’t have assault rifles available to them should themselves be barred from ever owning firearms of any kind on the basis of their rank, bone-headed ignorance constituting a public menace.

Nursery rhymes – now with SCIENCE

We know what stars are and why they twinkle, so let’s update the favourite old rhyme while still preserving our childlike sense of mystery and wonder as we contemplate the uncertainties of the quantum:

Wiggle, wiggle, little string
How do you make everything?
Up and down and fast and slow
If I watch you will you go?
Wiggle, wiggle, little string
How do you make anything?

Incidentally my 2 year-old asks for this version by sitting in my lap and wiggling at me 🙂

(Originally posted here)