Resolution time

In no particular order:

10. Infiltrate a troupe of baboons; strive to be recognised as one of them; attain alpha male status; create super race of manboons

9. Make time to begin thinking about writing that short story about the novel I once imagined I could write an extremely vague outline for

8. Sell everything I own on ebay and then buy it all back to see how much money I can save

7. Construct a voodoo doll of [name redacted; you’ll know who it is when it happens]

6. Contemplate storyboarding a short film about resolution number 9^

5. Be the best lazy drunken father I can possibly be (lazy drunkenness permitting)

4. Start my own clandestine suburban paintball car safari business

3. Ask somebody in a grey suit why “stop the boats” applies to brown people fleeing for their lives but not to Japanese whale-scientists

2. Write more songs about zombies

1. Do lots of silly shit I can resolve to never do again

0. Get in a car with a stranger

And many, many more …
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2 thoughts on “Resolution time

  1. Sure thar is (your header): love make'n for alla eternity. Can't beat that, pal. Just get on thy knees and ask the Lord your God for forgiveness and mercy. I do it every Sunday. Don't you know, dude, we're all sinners? You deserve the Abyss o'Misery but Jesus saved YOU from THAT by His Sacrifice on Calvary? Think summore. God bless you with discernment — I made this blog for alla you unbelievers to show how pretty fab-you-lous the Trinity is (1 of our 11). Just try not to masturbate: only a metaphore for the Great Beyond, dude.

  2. Listen, Uncle fucking Remus, I am never, ever reading that visual abortion you call a blog.Try this:- use paragraph breaks- stop chattin' like some retarded cross between Huck Finn, Holden Caufield and JarJar fucking Binks- stop centre-justifying everything- make some fucking sense- use colours that don't cause intense physical pain- don't fucking blogwhore at other people's blogs

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