Quacks ahoy!

Following on from my previous post calling out a certain quack calling himself “Dr” Mahoney, I bring you this following passage, harvested by PZ, from the site of an uber-quack named Andreas Moritz. Moritz is going in to bat for Mahoney and, true to the quack playbook, threatening a lawsuit. But what really grabbed me is the passage below concerning cancer:

…Constant conflicts, guilt and shame, for example, can easily paralyze the body’s most basic functions, and lead to the growth of a cancerous tumor.

After having seen thousands of cancer patients over a period of three decades, I began to recognize a certain pattern of thinking, believing and feeling that was common to most of them. To be more specific, I have yet to meet a cancer patient who does not feel burdened by some poor self-image, unresolved conflict and worries, or past emotional trauma that still lingers in his/her subconscious. Cancer, the physical disease, cannot occur unless there is a strong undercurrent of emotional uneasiness and deep-seated frustration.

Citation. Needed. You bloodsucking fucking leech. Vampires might be cool right now, but leeches? Not so much. Probably never. You are not a pale, gaunt, romantic, eerily sexy European. You are a small, slimy slug-looking thing with no purpose to your existence but to poo out from a dark, moist crack to remove sustenance from unsuspecting organisms.

Quackery is one thing – go ahead and treat colds with a sugar pill if you want, go ahead and “cleanse” your liver (the liver is self-cleansing if you leave it the fuck alone and stop putting beer through it – did you miss the “liver” part of your alleged medical education?), go ahead and prescribe berries instead of an H1N1 vaccine. But blaming the patient for their own cancer? Wow. That’s so low you should be able to limbo under my fridge and find that dollar coin I dropped there yesterday. Seriously, do it. I need change for the Coke machine.

Cancer quackery shits me – above all other forms of quckery – for many reasons: it’s completely unsupported, it’s dangerous(fatal) if used in place of actual medicine and it places the blame on the patient, which is personally fucking offensive, both to me and I’m sure anyone else whose lives have been touched – mauled – by cancer. I’d like to see this chump waltz into Camp Quality and tell all the kids with the bandanas playing theatre sports that their leukaemia is their own fucking fault. Or offer them a goddam liver cleanse.

Why does this get up my arse so much? Last week I lost a cousin to cancer which had metastasized from her lymph nodes and invaded her entire body; a year or more ago she was given months to live. What kept her alive, from her diagnosis eleven years ago until last week? Not counselling or prayers. Not cleansing diets. Not reiki. It was science-based medicine with proven effiicacy: chemo & radiation – combined with her utterly dogged determination to live and squeeze some more love and joy out of a life she knew was coming to a premature end. Additionally, in recent years we almost lost an aunt to breast cancer; my grandfather had cancer of the prostate; Mrs M’s dear friend has been battling cancer for almost a decade with more ups, downs, scares and elation than anyone should have to tolerate; a dear friend of mine lost his mother to non-Hodgkins lymphoma after an epic twelve-year battle. Numerous other friends have numerous other stories about people they’ve loved having scares, having biopsies followed by sighs of relief or sleepless nights; fast, traumatic exists or long, drawn out wars with their own bodies. Indeed, you could walk into any room anywhere and rapidly find similar from perfect strangers. But what is it that saved their lives or kept them alive until nothing more could be done? Not some preachy, hair-trigger, lawsuit-brandishing supplement-flogger who namedrops woomeister Deepak Chopra in a threatening letter to a blogger and blames the victim for their own illness. Would this chump blame me for being born with chronic asthma? There’s a lot wrong with my body that’s my own fault, certainly, but what people need to accept is that, sometimes for perfectly logical reasons and sometimes for no reason at all, people get sick and they die. Sometimes young – sometimes too young. Moritz capitalises on this fear of the unknown, this fear of shit happening, tells you it’s your fault then offers you The Way Out. Much the same way the Bible sets you up, from conception, as a worthless Hellbound sinner … and then offers you Jesus. Makes me sick.

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor and this isn’t a considered medical opinion. However: it is my personal opinion Andreas Moritz is a fucking quack.

Not just a quack, he’s a cancer quack. Possibly the worst, most despicable kind. The kind which blames the victim for their cancer and then tells them to eschew actual medicine in favour of whatever he’s flogging on his website (remember: one particularly quacky callsign is the constant selling of “remedies”). In light of the fact that this shit costs peoples’ lives, “quack” almost seems to harmless a word for this guy. Suggestions?

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