Papacy: "evolution is too science-y!"

PZ Myers expertly excoriates the ecclesiastic like noone else can, so instead of ranting myself I’ll link you to his post about a “Vatican evolution congress” (maybe I should have an ‘Atheist Prayer Meeting’ in response, it would make as much sense) entitled “Science Is Not Your Merkin” (LOL) and tease you with some choice quotes:

“[Jesuit Father Marc Leclerc, a philosophy professor at the Gregorian] said arguments “that cannot be critically defined as being science, or philosophy or theology did not seem feasible to include in a dialogue at this level and, therefore, for this reason we did not think to invite” supporters of creationism and intelligent design.””

What an out — they’re only going to allow arguments critically defined as scientific, oh, and theology. Those are two different things, you know.

I eagerly await the announcement of the associated banquet for the participants. They will only be serving the highest quality food, made by master chefs of Europe, using only the freshest, best ingredients, oh, and there will be dollops of runny, rancid fecal material splattered over the tables and dishes. But the meal will be a magnificent gourmet experience, and the world will know that Vatican shit deserves to be served to the greatest minds of science.

I’m sure they’ll get some good smart people to go along with this, because there is no shortage of competent scientists willing to compromise the public face of science by associating it with wishful thinking and the supernatural. And the Vatican will, of course, throw buckets of pomp and money and somber news quotes at this, all to decorate the rotting flesh of their decrepit dogma with the jewels of science.

And look! Their exclusivity runs the other way, too!

“Archbishop Gianfranco Ravasi, president of the Pontifical Council for Culture, said the other extreme of the evolution debate — proponents of an overly scientific conception of evolution and natural selection — also were not invited.”

“Overly scientific conception of evolution”? What the heck? So the problem with evolution, to these Catholics, is that there’s too darned much science in it? I guess Richard Dawkins won’t be pining by his mailbox, hangdog with disappointment that his papal invitation hasn’t arrived yet. Why, the whole problem with evolutionary biology is that we don’t have enough religion in it, to poison and distort and attenuate the science. But not just any religion: it seriously needs more Catholicism.

Evolution, too science-y for Catholics…what the holy poo-spattered fuck is wrong with these people? I’m flabbergasted. I’m lost for words. There really isn’t anything I can write to express how completely & utterly fucked, wrong and arse-backwards that concept is. Imagine if I read a bible, put it down and said “OK, very good, very interesting. But it’s a little heavy on the God-talk, isn’t it?” Any Catholic – any Christian – would instantly have the right the look at me with an eyebrow raised and say to me, “That’s actually the ENTIRE POINT OF IT, you fucking halfwit. Now give it back before you drool all over the fucking thing.”

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