Catholics are retarded, part 400 billion

PZ Myers reports that a young American uni student has been threatened with death for – get this – smuggling a communion wafer out of a Catholic mass.

From the original article:

“We don’t know 100% what Mr. Cooks motivation was,” said Susan Fani a spokesperson with the local Catholic diocese. “However, if anything were toqualify as a hate crime, to us this seems like this might be it.”

Whatever his motivation was, I’m quite sure he didn’t expect the minions of the Prince of Peace to threaten his physical wellbeing for stealing a FUCKING WAFER. I’m equally sure that stealing a wafer is not in the same league as, say, lynching a black man or raping a nun in a church or even spray-painting “AIDS FUCKERS GO HOME” on the side of a pink bus named Priscilla. It seems that – without causing in me the merest hint of surprise – a group of precious Catholics have had their precious feelings hurt and are demanding swift vengeance.

Religionists constantly demand to be taken seriously and have their beliefs respected – indeed, they demand more respect and more seriousness-taking than nonreligious people. Then, you read about some loony tunes shit like this, where some poor kid playing a silly cracker-stealing prank now feels like his very life is in danger. In danger, mind you, from followers of the Lamb of God. Judge not lest ye be judged? Let who is without sin cast the first stone? Not applicable – HE STOLE OUR MOTHERFUCKING CRACKER!!!

But then, we are talking about American Catholics here and if there’s one thing Americans do very, very, very well, it’s take perfectly decent moderate Christianity and turn into a gung-holy license to fuck with everybody they disagree with. From the 17th century Puritans and their infamous Salem trials, through con artists like Mormontology’s Joe Smith, to modern wacknuts like creo-halfwit Kent Hovind, the dangerously retarded Westboro Baptists and your common-or-garden, sub-intellectual, evangelical TV megachurch-attending tithe-giving Bush-voter, America has long been a hotbed for Christian extremism of the worst, most craven and most despicable varieties. Even the Papacy has to put up with it (but then, they did do that Inquisition thing so they shouldn’t be strangers to hysterical overreaction). There’s just something really, really creepy about the way some Americans can apply their rabid, guns-out & fuck-you, with us or agin’ us nationalism to their religion and actually put people in fear for their lives. Over a fucking wafer.

To close, it pleases me that PZ has put out a call to smuggle him some communion wafers so he can defile them and post the pics. I look forward to it greatly.


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