Theologian Chess!

The well-known “Pigeon Chess” simile applies to creationists and their woeful misunderstandings of science and their generally deplorable behaviour: (paraphrased) “They don’t know the rules, they knock the pieces over, they shit all over the board and then they fly home to coo over their victory.”

Inspired by this exchange at WEIT (and countless other examples of theologians redefining their gods out of reach of inquiry [often as they simultaneously try to define them into existence]), I thought that perhaps theologians should have their own (slightly more complex) corollary:

In Theology Chess, the theologian has the entire chessboard to himself and only one piece: God. Whenever the opponent (who has no pieces) asks a question about God, the piece may be moved to a different square in any direction with no restriction on distance. This may be done indefinitely until the questioner gets up and leaves.

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EDIT 03/07/2014: commenter thedxman got busy and knocked this up (he earns four hundred billion points):

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11 thoughts on “Theologian Chess!

  1. Great! Change “infintely” (hyperbole) to “indefinitely”, and I’m with you.

    For me, “indefinitely” is not only more accurate to describe the behaviour; it also better captures the tedious surely-they-can’t-just-keep-doing-this frustration.

      • I think the point is that when the atheists starts talking about faith vs knowledge, and rationality vs irrationality, the theologian can jump to “evidence”, saying that they have “reasons to believe”, and so on… other squares come to mind: Evidence -> The gospels -> The Empty Tomb -> Consensus of Biblical Scholars -> Mythicists not serious -> apostle psychology -> martyrs -> spread of Christianity -> The Church… etc.
        Of you can just jump from “Evidence” to “Holy spirit”. Done. Solved.
        (Infinite was a typo, I spent too long staring at “covenantal”, willing the first a to become an e.)

    • Mine too, actually – I think we can both thank PZ for that. I tweeted him this post and he shared it – it appears we’ve been Pharyngulated :)

  2. Pingback: Interessante Links und Nachrichten 03.07.2014ff - Pirat Aleks A.

  3. Pingback: Patrik Lindenfors blogg » Teologi-schack

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